Screw You David Beckham

On July 21, 2007 the MLS got its highest ratings of all time.  422,000 people tuned in to see if the great David Beckham was worth all the hype.  He was babying a sore leg and the debut was nothing spectacular.  I am guessing that out of those 422,000 people 400,000 of them could not have told you what was off sides or who won the previous Euro cup.  Needless to say there was hype about soccer which carried over to the end of summer when the US all stars played Chelsea and broke another viewing record 947,000 viewers.

The United States as we all know is not known for its soccer.  We had a brief fluke when we made it to the quarter finals against Germany in the 2002 World Cup.  Other than that there has not been that much excitement for the USofA and soccer. Soccer to Americans is like Basketball to Europeans.  The better players are on the other side of the pond and it is a second rate sport.  The biggest publicity each of them get is from EA sports and the video game lines.

Growing up I played my fair share of soccer and tried to follow it as much as possible.  I never cared for the MLS but would look up the European results.  More recently ESPN has been broadcasting soccer on their various networks and it is slowly becoming more popular.  Key word slowly.

There are two major reasons why soccer will never catch on like the big three (football, baseball, and basketball).  European soccer is a very impressive and entertaining sport.  The only time it is ever on television is in the middle of the day.  That means it will not catch on with the youth of the nation because they are at school.  Only the die hards will try and watch the games.  The second reason is there are no commercials.  That is one of the sole biggest reasons the NBA, MLB, and NFL make money.  A simple little thing called advertising.  A name on the jersey and bill boards around the pitch (soccer field for you non footballers) can only go so far.

Back to Becks.  Senior Beckham’s main purpose and goal was to help bring attention to American soccer and help Americans see the sport as the rest of the world does.  He is on the downside of his career and in the US he could get great money and still be competitive.  Do you remember when Jordan came back to play for the Wizards?  It was hard to watch because we knew how great the greatest was and he could not do what he did any more.

David’s stay in Los Angeles was anything but brilliant.  He suffered injury and his age was a factor.  He did not live up to the legends that drifted across the pond and was a step slower then we all expected.

This past year Becks got a chance to jump back over to Europe and did not hesitate.  The LA Galaxy loaned Beckham to AC Milan for several months.  After much debate Becks is coming back over to the states some time around June.  What does this mean for American soccer?  We are going to see a tired and worn out Beckahm once again.  When he comes back, don’t waste your money to watch him.

So here is my screw you to Beckham.  Me and the other thousand or so soccer fans in the United States were stoked to hear that you were coming over to play in the United States.  You said you were going to do everything you could to make soccer a big deal in the states.  You could not have asked for a better introduction or publicity.  Hell KG was at the first game that you played in.  The crowd was lined with stars and celebs.  It was a grand event.

You had all of us in the palm of your hand.  You had a mediocre season at best and we still respected and loved you.  The second you got on that plane for Italy our respect left as well.  I would understand letting you go if you were dominating the MLS but you were not.  When we heard that you wanted to stay in Italy well screw you.  Now that you are coming back no one cares.  You are only a movie title to us.  Who cares if she can bend it like Beckham.

Happy trails Mr. Beckham, you are dead to me just like you are dead to everyone in England as well.  Why don’t you go get a tattoo of that on your back and smoke it…….(if that makes sense)-

The real face of American Soccer (chillin overseas)

The Round Table Big Vinney Pizza

The Big Vinney is a pizza that packs a punch as big as its name.  On a large pizza there are 12 slices.  Each slice has 460 calories making the entire pizza worth 5,520.  If a family of five goes out to dinner and gets the large Big Vinney then each of them are going to come home with 1004 more calories.  Throw in a soda and garlic twists and its a whole new story.  The Garlic twists have 170 calories for each twist.  You would have to order a set of 6 in order for each family member to have one. Add on another 1020 calories.  So each person gets 204 more calories on top of their 1004 calories.  If you throw in five 20 ounce sodas you end up with another 241 calories per person.  Bringing the total caloric intake for Timmy, Rickey, Betty, Mother Wendy and Father Frank to 1449 which is about two thirds of the days intake of calories.  The group will have to go home and jump rope for two hours straight as fast as they can to burn the calories off…..Now doesn’t that just have family night written all over it….  

 

The Big VInney