Posts Tagged ‘Kaliphornya


Kaliphornya gets on the hot posts list

Today is an epic day in the small history of  My most recent article of how the Lakers need not panic is break records left and right for me.  I was scrolling through the top post sections of word press and stumbled upon none other than my blog.  It is currently 59.  Yes I have not broken the top fifty, but it is nice to make the list.  Check it out for yourself and thank you for all the love……

Top 100


100th post

Happy 100th post, thanks for all the readers, hopefully many many more to come, like at least a million…… launched January 23rd 2009, that very first day it recieved about eighty hits.  The following weeks to come it averaged twenty or so hits until the face of the franchise got smart and started writing more about contreversial topics and placed them in hot beds where there would be passionate readers.

The first big post was Loretto is Jumping Ship. There were many passionate girls who hated this article and proved me wrong, as I knew they would. Rock on Loretto and keep fighting. After that massive day things got better and the blogs continued.
Wednesday March 11, 2009 marks the busiest day in Kaliphornya history. Kaliphornya dropped the smack down on David Beckham and got soccer fans world wide very interested. Check it out here as it continues to still get hits and be the busiest blog Screw you David Beckham.
So as I have barely scratched the surface, my main goal is to entertain and spark the minds of many. Please feel free to comment or send me an e mail if you would like to write an article. Check out the contact info of the blog. If not then pass this on to a friend and maybe their cousins, aunts, uncles, brothers, dogs, owner will find it interesting.

Stay flossy Kaliphornya-


Madness in March

It has finally come.  Possibly the best time of year, yes we are finally in Mach and we are ready for all the madness that comes with it.  We will see David slay Goliath, hearts will be broken and dreams will be made.  We will not be able to get enough of Dicky V’s antics and wild commentary.  Sixty four teams will have a chance to be crowned the best in college basketball.  Who is going to have that epic run on the road to motor city?  All will be answered in the next twenty days.  All the blood, sweat, and hours spent in the gym will only prove one thing.  Who has worked the hardest?  Who has seized the moment?  Who truly is willing to leave everything out on the floor?  Fill out those brackets, set up your DVR, learn how to use the picture in picture button on your television.  Let the madness begin because it is tournament time.  



Kaliphornya went to the ultimate dive bar last night…..


I am still pretty bad about not taking pictures in these bizarre places I end up.  Last night I drove down to Buena Park to meet up with some old friends who were in town for work.  We shot the shit and drank some beer.  Our adventures led us to the CUP.  The CUP is probably the biggest dive bar I have ever seen.  The street that the CUP was on is out of a weird movie from the 1980’s.  There was a restaurant/show of pirates called Pirates Dinner Adventure.  

Pirates Dinner Adventure

Pirates Dinner Adventure


Medieval Times

Medieval Times












Then the next building was called Medieval Times Dinner Restaurant.  Needless to say this was a strange place to be.  Across the street from CUPS was a restaurant called Po Boys Restaurant.  Walking into the bar there was no one at the door taking cards which was a different feel from your typical Los Angeles scene.  

CUPS like Rush Street Grill was a very weird mix of people.  There you had the blue collar crowd which was a nice change from your typical Lost Angeles crowd.  I saw a girl wearing basketball shorts knee high socks and flip flops.  It looked like she just got done shooting hoops and came straight to the bar.  

When we walked up to the bar we got three beers for a grand total of 13 dollars.  This was a very cheep price to pay for the size of beers.  There was also free pool which is awesome even thou I suck.  When you looked around the place you really saw the true dive bar come out.  On the walls there were cpu print offs that gave prices for food.  You could buy a hot pocket for $3.00, Beer Nuts for $2.00, and there were free Nachos.  In the corner of the bar there was a machine keeping your nacho cheese warm next to a basket of chips.  There was also a microwave next to the pool tables.  I bet if you ordered a hot pocket they would give it to you frozen and you could heat it up to your own liking.  

The music that was bumping was all over the place. It went from Irish drinking songs, to Chris Brown, to Boston.  There was a makeshift dance floor that no one was using.  If you stepped on it I bet the music would stop everyone would turn their head and freeze.  You could probably stand still and hear crickets.  The locals were just not used to these cats coming on their home turf.  After a beer or two we went back to the cars and I made my journey back to the West side.  

It was a interesting place to say the least, does anyone want to go to Pirates Dinner Adventure?  Its 45 bucks a person and it includes dinner and a show-


Screw You David Beckham

On July 21, 2007 the MLS got its highest ratings of all time.  422,000 people tuned in to see if the great David Beckham was worth all the hype.  He was babying a sore leg and the debut was nothing spectacular.  I am guessing that out of those 422,000 people 400,000 of them could not have told you what was off sides or who won the previous Euro cup.  Needless to say there was hype about soccer which carried over to the end of summer when the US all stars played Chelsea and broke another viewing record 947,000 viewers.

The United States as we all know is not known for its soccer.  We had a brief fluke when we made it to the quarter finals against Germany in the 2002 World Cup.  Other than that there has not been that much excitement for the USofA and soccer. Soccer to Americans is like Basketball to Europeans.  The better players are on the other side of the pond and it is a second rate sport.  The biggest publicity each of them get is from EA sports and the video game lines.

Growing up I played my fair share of soccer and tried to follow it as much as possible.  I never cared for the MLS but would look up the European results.  More recently ESPN has been broadcasting soccer on their various networks and it is slowly becoming more popular.  Key word slowly.

There are two major reasons why soccer will never catch on like the big three (football, baseball, and basketball).  European soccer is a very impressive and entertaining sport.  The only time it is ever on television is in the middle of the day.  That means it will not catch on with the youth of the nation because they are at school.  Only the die hards will try and watch the games.  The second reason is there are no commercials.  That is one of the sole biggest reasons the NBA, MLB, and NFL make money.  A simple little thing called advertising.  A name on the jersey and bill boards around the pitch (soccer field for you non footballers) can only go so far.

Back to Becks.  Senior Beckham’s main purpose and goal was to help bring attention to American soccer and help Americans see the sport as the rest of the world does.  He is on the downside of his career and in the US he could get great money and still be competitive.  Do you remember when Jordan came back to play for the Wizards?  It was hard to watch because we knew how great the greatest was and he could not do what he did any more.

David’s stay in Los Angeles was anything but brilliant.  He suffered injury and his age was a factor.  He did not live up to the legends that drifted across the pond and was a step slower then we all expected.

This past year Becks got a chance to jump back over to Europe and did not hesitate.  The LA Galaxy loaned Beckham to AC Milan for several months.  After much debate Becks is coming back over to the states some time around June.  What does this mean for American soccer?  We are going to see a tired and worn out Beckahm once again.  When he comes back, don’t waste your money to watch him.

So here is my screw you to Beckham.  Me and the other thousand or so soccer fans in the United States were stoked to hear that you were coming over to play in the United States.  You said you were going to do everything you could to make soccer a big deal in the states.  You could not have asked for a better introduction or publicity.  Hell KG was at the first game that you played in.  The crowd was lined with stars and celebs.  It was a grand event.

You had all of us in the palm of your hand.  You had a mediocre season at best and we still respected and loved you.  The second you got on that plane for Italy our respect left as well.  I would understand letting you go if you were dominating the MLS but you were not.  When we heard that you wanted to stay in Italy well screw you.  Now that you are coming back no one cares.  You are only a movie title to us.  Who cares if she can bend it like Beckham.

Happy trails Mr. Beckham, you are dead to me just like you are dead to everyone in England as well.  Why don’t you go get a tattoo of that on your back and smoke it…….(if that makes sense)-

The real face of American Soccer

The real face of American Soccer (chillin overseas)


The Round Table Big Vinney Pizza

The Big Vinney is a pizza that packs a punch as big as its name.  On a large pizza there are 12 slices.  Each slice has 460 calories making the entire pizza worth 5,520.  If a family of five goes out to dinner and gets the large Big Vinney then each of them are going to come home with 1004 more calories.  Throw in a soda and garlic twists and its a whole new story.  The Garlic twists have 170 calories for each twist.  You would have to order a set of 6 in order for each family member to have one. Add on another 1020 calories.  So each person gets 204 more calories on top of their 1004 calories.  If you throw in five 20 ounce sodas you end up with another 241 calories per person.  Bringing the total caloric intake for Timmy, Rickey, Betty, Mother Wendy and Father Frank to 1449 which is about two thirds of the days intake of calories.  The group will have to go home and jump rope for two hours straight as fast as they can to burn the calories off…..Now doesn’t that just have family night written all over it….  


The Big VInney

The Big VInney


Portland fans need to stop bitching


All Ball

All Ball

Last night was a very hard night for me in regards to sports.  The St. Mary’s Gaels got hosed by the Gonzaga Bulldogs and the Lakers got taken to town by the Portland Trailblazers.  I think that the Pacific Northwest had it in for my teams.  Both games were a blow out and they lost by a collective 42 points.  


In the Laker game Trevor Ariza was given a flagrant two foul when he attempted to block a shot on Rudy Fernandez.  Immediately he got ejected and there was a small scuffle at the end of the floor while Fernandez layed in pain under his own hoop.  Lamar Odom was the only player who left the bench and recieved a one game suspension.  Trevor Ariza was not punished any further by the NBA which I felt was the correct call.

Looking on ESPN today there is all this contrevosary saying Ariza is a dirty player and out of control.  Now I know that 99 percent of these acquisitions are coming from Portland fans who are probably still bitter about Robert Horry hitting a game winner back in the early 2000’s.  The say that in the replays, Ariza was not looking at the ball but just swining for the sky.  

I have watched every single Laker game this season and know that Ariza is not a dirty player.  He is one of the most athlectic players in the league who leaves it all on the line every night.  Last night was no exception.  The Lakers were getting smoked and Ariza was brought in the game to do what he does.  Make plays on the defensive end and bring some energy to the floor.  

Fernandez had a fast break and Ariza went after him like I have seen so many times this season.  He got the ball first and yes he did get part of his head with the arm in his process.  A quick side note (the Blazer fans were comparing this to when Rambis got fouled by the Celtics back in the day.)  I don’t know how you could compare the two.  When Rambus went up the other guy close lined him. Ariza went after the ball and Fernanded became off balance.  He landed akward and that is that.

What I am getting at is the fact that people are saying he is out of control.  Do you not want guys to then go after the ball and make those highflying plays that will end up on sports center top ten?  Do we want to make the NBA the WNBA now?  Please Portland stop being so bitter that you live in the rain all winter while down in Kaliphorya we have sun and a good basketball team every year.  I hope we play you in the playoffs and shut you guys up like we have so many times…….

Peace out Jailblazers and enjoy this one-

Kaliphornya Twitter

My Blogs

February 2019
« Oct