What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think about game four of the Lakers Nuggets series? Chris Anderson aka Bird Man, tattoos, J.R (I am a huge THUG) Smith, Dante Jones’s play is so dirty you might see it on Red Tube, or the lack luster hustle and effort by the Lakers? To me, all of those things come to mind in that particular order.
First and foremost, the Lakers stunk the joint up in game four. There were two or three guys that came to play, Kobe, Bynum, and Gasol. Bynum and Gasol were a stretch. Second off the Nuggets killed the inside and cleaned those boards the best they knew how. It was truly a one sided game all 48 minutes. Props to Denver for sticking one to the Lakers.
OK, now is where I talk about what was running through my head last night. Lets start with the obvious. Denver has a lot of tattoos. No I take that back, the Lakers have a lot of tattoos, the Nuggets, well when they play Carmello, Smith, Anderson, Martin, and Carter together, it looks like something you would see on National Geographic’s show “Taboo”. I don’t know what is going on with that high altitude but I am truly thinking of becoming a tattoo artist and setting up shop right next to the Pepsi Center. Better yet, the Nuggets organization can hire me to become the team Tattoo artist. That way it can be another perk for the players to sign with the Nuggets. Hell, maybe LeBron would want to play for Denver on that alone?
Chris the Birdman Anderson, this guy has been through a lot over the years and it is great that he cleaned up his life and made it back to the NBA. Should we really feel bad for this guy though? Should we jump on his pity train? What about Joe Schmoe who is now three years sober and is holding down a steady job at Best Buy finally being able to put food on the table for his little girl? Just because Anderson is in the NBA does not mean he is any better than the thousands of recovering addicts in this country. Time to bounce from that pity party. When I become a parent I want my child to have Chris Anderson as a role model. “Kids, this is how you save money, I am going to use the needle that was used for your first tattoo and then use it to shoot up with heroin, grab that giant rubber band over there for me.” Ohh yeah and what is with these alter egos, “So Chris what is the Bird man?” “I don’t know you are going to ask him.” That answer was super douchey.
J.R. Smith, the guy can shoot you into a game and can shoot you out of a game. Him and Kenyon Martin are the Rasheed Wallace of this NBA generation. These two guys are strung so tight I would not be surprised if some time in their career they one up Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson. I love when J.R. Smith makes a three and he is talking shit like he is at Rucker Park the whole way down the court. Settle down bro, you just light up Sasha Vujachic. He is shooting 15 percent from the field this series and is averaging more turnovers than points per game. That right there is straight ballin, no………it really is. You are super hard core.
K-Mart, sick nickname, if you have another child you should name him Wallace Martin, then he could be Wall-Mart. Settle down out there man. The NBA is not out to get you. Stop bitching at the refs every time a foul is called. If you hold Pau’s arm as though you are walking down the aisle with him on your wedding day, then that is probably going to be a technical. On that note, you did look super hard though. As Mr. Cuban once said, you are just a Thug.
Danita Jones, the only reason anyone knows your name is because of Kobe Bryant. You are the sacrificial lamb, which enables J.R. Smith and Mellow to guard Kobe when the game is on the line. The sole reason you get to start the game is because the Nuggets know you will not do anything except foul Kobe. They don’t want you in the game when it counts, you are just a scrub. I would recommend you stop pushing Kobe when he is not looking, and for sure not trip him, because without Kobe, you would be just another no name NBA player. Settle down my friend.
One final note, back to the “Birdman”. Watch how he plays the game. Every trip down the floor he is the last one down. He trails thus giving him the ability to get a running start at getting blocks and boards. It is smart on his behalf and it makes rebounds and driving dunks that much easier. This type of play excites the crowd, especially when he flaps his wings like a bird. I think since Kobe’s nickname is the Black Mamba, every time he runs down the court and does something sick, he should lie down on the floor and slither back to the other side of the court. Or possibly if LeBron does one of his towering dunks maybe he should get on all fours and run back on D like the king of the jungle. All I am saying is that unless you are staring in Angeles in the Outfield three, chill out on the flapping on the wings.
Peace out Denver Thuggets-