A far to long story about tweeting and driving…..

Hypothetical scenario:

Guy is driving down the PCH when he comes up to a stop light.  He is enjoying the wonderful 85 degree weather with the windows down and a relaxing Eagles song softly playing over radio.  He slowly pulls up to the stop light and glances out to the left.  It is later on in the day and the sun is starting to hide behind the mighty yet majestic Pacific Ocean.  He thinks to himself “Nothing like no traffic on the PCH during a Friday afternoon.”

Suddenly Guy’s cell phone makes a nice chirping noise.  He quickly glances down at it to see his friend Lady had just tweeted, saying “Hey everyone I am going to The Standard tonight, I have a VIP area, all friends of mine should come.”  Guy gets stoked, he loves the Standard, and has a huge crush of Lady.  Tonight would be the perfect night at the perfect place to go in for the kill.  This is when his whole world got turned upside down.

Guy quickly picks up his Blackberry Storm and starts to Tweet back when the light turns green.  He slowly lets his foot of the break and presses the gas.  He is cruising along in the right lane continuously glancing up and down while trying to type his tweet in to let Lady and all his followers know what he is doing tonight (maybe Lady haha JK, he did not write that but that would be funny).  After finally finishing his tweet, Guy looks in his rear view mirror to see the motorcylce 5-0.

He quickly looks at his speed, 45 mph which is the limit, checks his seat belt which is on, and then possibly thinks that he could have a tail light out.  Guy throws his Storm onto his lap and pulls over.  He watches in the rear view mirror to see Porky the cop get off of his bike and stroll up to his car.  Literally this is like a scene out of the movies.  The dude took his helmet off and pulled the aviators out of his pocket all in one motion.

As Porky gets up to the car he asks Guy, “Do you know why I pulled you over?”  Guy responds, “Do I have a tail light out?”  Porky says “no, any other ideas?”  Guy looks at him blankly and shakes his head no.  Porky says I noticed you texting while operating a motor vehicle.

Guy starts to laugh and says officer you must be mistaken, I was not texting while driving, I would never do such a thing.  The cop then asked why is there a phone in his lap and why was he more focused on the phone than the road.  Guy replied and said ohh I was Twittering.  Twittering is not texting.  The cop says I know what Twittering is and that is texting.  Guy says no its not, hold on one second let me tweet everyone and let them know I am getting harassed by the Pork force.

Porky asks guy to step out of the car while he is twittering.   Guy refuses and continues to update his twitter post.  Finally Porky has to threaten Guy to be arrested.  Guy being the stubborn person he is refuses to get out of the car.  Yet is still Tweeting.  Finally Porky opens the door, slams Guy to the road and cuffs him.  He calls for backup and puts Guy in the back of the Squad car.

Guy gets out of jail the next day and has to go to court a month later to plea his case why he did not cooperate with an authority of the law.  He gets home to his loft and hops on facebook to check out what he missed from the night before.  He notices that Lady posted some new pictures.  He starts to scroll through the pictures and sees that she is all over one of he co workers.  He is crushed but thinks well maybe it was just a one night thing and they were drunk.

Guy then ventures over to his Twitter and checks out all of the new tweets.  He sees on his wall that “Lady was stoked Guy was coming.”  then later on that night Lady posted “where is guy I hope he can make it”, then later on “I hate GUYS who say they are going to do one thing then do another” and then this morning “I met the coolest guy last night and I think I am in LOVE”

Guy is crushed and sees all of these tweets.  He then tries to call Lady who has blocked his number because she is so mad at him.  The next sixty years of Guy’s life he lives in the same Loft all by himself with his cat.  He dies a lonely old man because he decided to Twitter and drive.

Take this and learn from Guy’s failures.  Do not tweet and drive, it could ruin your life.


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