23
Jan
09

Starbucks will go bankrupt due to Global Warming

 

Hello all, 
So I am up in the great Pacific Northwest for this Christmas season more specifically Seattle. Seattle is an awesome city. Right when you leave the air port you are hit with the downtown which is amazing. Nothing says a sports town like Qwest Stadium and Safeco Field as next door neighbors.
Qwest and Safeco
Seattle is also known as the home for the global phenomena Starbucks. As my friend Zack Jerome once said. “You can throw a baseball from one starbucks to another for about 5 miles and the ball will never bounce.” In this land there are Starbucks in Starbucks parking lots.
Starbucks map for downtown Seattle
Being from Los Angeles it never gets cold. I do go to Starbucks but only order a Medium (I never use the phrase tall, grande, or vente. I refuse to do that. It is stupid. When I go to Italy I will say that but in the states we call it small, medium, and large) Iced macchiato. I get my coffee buzz going and then proceed with my day.
In Seattle it is cold. I went to the local outdoor mall, University Village and was cold. I had my sweatshirt, scarf, ski jacket, and russian cap on, and was still cold. I decided to get a Starbucks, this time I got a MEDIUM Carmel macchiato (not iced). Instantly I warmed out. Suddenly the cold outdoor weather was nothing more than a brisk breeze. I was ready to conquer the outdoor world with coffee buzz and all. 
In all of this havoc I had an epiphany. I figure that the Seattleans initially drink coffee to stay warm. Upon doing this day in and day out the caffeine hooks them like a deep sea fisherman wrangles and catches a twenty foot Marlin. Thus the people need more and more coffee. 
SOOO to my point. If the climate is to warm up and Seattle is to not be cold any more then the new generation of up and coming Seattlians will not need to drink coffee to stay warm. They will then not get addicted and hooked by the java bean thus sending Starbucks and fellow stock holders spiraling out of control. 
On the other hand maybe people just like coffee and the way it makes them feel….Who knows  

Catch ya on the flip side…

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