04
Oct
09

MOVIN ON UP

CLICK here on KALIPHORNYA to jump to the new kaliphornya.com website………

10
Aug
09

Casey Blake is Sparta & Russel Martin is Turtle

So as I have watched the Dodgers over the past two years, I can not get over how much a couple of thier players look like Hollywood superstars.  See below…..caseygerard

Turtle from Entourage and Russel Martin

Turtle from Entourage and Russel Martin

We run LA…..

04
Aug
09

Wonder Bitch and the pushover

Have you ever been put on blast, got ripped apart, or plain old chewed out?  I am sure this happens to the best of us during some point in our lives.  This past Friday, I witnessed this first hand.  Let me describe the scene before I go into the story.  For those of you who are not familiar or to scared to venture down towards the Santa Monica area, there is a slew of great restaurants.  Last Friday, I was fortunate enough to get together with some long time friends and have a couple of cocktails.

We decided to post up at Ma Kai’s.  Ma Kai’s is a very nice, laid back restaurant with a great bar.   Ma Kai’s signature has been their Mojitos.  In the past, they would fill your glass to the brim with crushed ice accompanied by a stick of sugar cane, and then pour in that luscious minty concoction.  These things are strong and deadly.

MaKai lounge

Ma'Kai lounge

Upon ordering several cocktails and appetizers, my attention was drawn to the table next to us.  There was a couple there who looked around their mid twenties.  The girl looked like your typical blond from southern Kaliphornya.  Dressed to impress, with a bag and outfit that probably cost more than her car.  The guy, well my friends and I had a good time ripping into him.  This is what we do, we belittle people when they can not hear us.  Aren’t we nice.  Anyhow the guy had pushover dork written all over him.  He had shorter hair that was parted to the side similar to the hair cut my father has.  You know that one your mom used to make you wear on picture day in first grade?  He was wearing an undershirt below a pink lacoste shirt, both tucked into his khakis.  This all went along perfectly with his Topsiders.

So, what grabbed my attention?  I head this girl yelling as though she were telling a story.  I then listened even closer and realized she was chewing this dude out.  I do not know why, but full on yelling at this guy in a nice restaurant for everyone to wittiness.  She was saying stuff to him that blew my mind.  This whole time Peter preppy, was siting there like a gentle man, eating his fries and taking this lashing.  Not an ounce of emotion from him.  This bitch session must have gone on for a good thirty minutes.

To make the story even better this couple probably ordered three or four different appetizers.  After polishing off their sweet potato fries, calamari, and two of the three sliders, Betty the bitch made a scene.  She brought the manager of the restaurant over and started in on him.  To quote her she said “I want my money back, your sliders did not have lettuce on them!”  The manager told her that these sliders were award winners for the area, and that they do not put lettuce on them.  She blew up at this dude for another ten minutes.  Eventually she got the whole bill comped and stormed out of the restaurant.

I was in utter shock how rude and bitchy this chick was.  What was even worse was how her boyfriend just took it.  Anyhow I guess some people just don’t have manners, or a backbone.  On that note, the next time you are out, keep it classy.

31
Jul
09

Possibly the coolest wedding entrance

Check this out, these people have swagger.  If the ceremony is like this image the wedding reception.  Probably a SHIT show…..check it out down below….

24
Jul
09

10 ways to pass time if your unemployed

If you are one of the 9.5 % of Americans unemployed I bet you have a fair amount of free time on your hands.  After getting the boot, once you overcame the shock life seemed nice.  Suddenly, you realized that you do not need that company and your career was going no where.  Look on the bright side, you get to start over and until you get a job, well life is an endless weekend.

I bet it was nice to sleep in those first couple of days possibly weeks.  You would wake up around noon eat some breakfast or leftover pizza from the night before then hop online.  By this time you know all of the job sites and listings by heart.  Your resume is beefed up and you might have gotten one or two interviews.  Yet after making it to that final round you recieved the phone call “I am sorry but we went with another candidate who was more qualified and experienced than yourself”.

You find that the days are super long and boring, with only day time television to pass the time mixed in with the very unmotivated trip to the gym.  I have compiled a list of things you can do when you find yourself watching that third loop of Sports Center and want to pull your hair out.

  1. Start a blog, who knows any one can read these things.  If you are a good writer or have some interesting things to write about, it is a great way to make some money on the side.
  2. Go to stumbleupon.com sign up for an account, create your interest list and let the stumble bar take you on a trip around the world wide web, keeping you entertained for hours.  You may just discover the next “David After the Dentist”.
  3. Check out the best of craigslist.  I recently came across this part of craigslist.  Man there are some weird ass people in this world.  Check out what they post and how they post it.
  4. Buy a ton of Gatoraid and water.  Get a portable ice chest and stand outside of a local bar or club.  When people come out completely hammered, charge them triple what the drinks ran you in the supermarket.  Everyone wants to avoid a hang over.  This has been proven to work.
  5. Go through your I.Tunes account and make sure every song has a title, artist, album, and album art work.  Get rid of those annoying track 1, track 1-1, track 1-1-1, unknown album.
  6. Rummage through all of the stuff you have lying around you abode.  See what you use and do not use.  Go ahead and sell it on craigslist to put off moving back home for another month.  Would you rather live with Mom and Dad or have a 46 inch flat screen and PS3?
  7. Send a video of yourself to the celeb you would most like to meet every day at the same time.  Maybe you just might meet him or her.  (It worked on the Fantasy Factory with Rob Dyrdek)
  8. Try and predict who the best player in the most recent draft will be.  Then go to godaddy.com and buy their domain name.  Once they get big and famous you sell it to them for much dinero.
  9. For the adventurous, you can travel “Into the Wild” style.  Me, well I could never do this, but could you imagine the blog and following one would have if he traveled the world with only the clothes on his back and a lap top.  That would be baller, kinda like that 17 year old kid who sailed around the world by himself.  Check that out.
  10. Finally, you can sit around making lame ass lists trying to pass the time similar to this one.  No I am not unemployed, yes I do have a fair amount of free time.  Does anyone want to hire me?
23
Jul
09

Naa naa naa naa Hey Hey Goodbye…LeBron and JayZ

So I was checking out lostangelesblog.com and he had this new JayZ video posted.  It has been awhile since we have heard a track like this with a video laid down over it.  Pretty dope.  What is there not to like?  Whiskey, Cigars, and Jazz as Zack of Lost Angeles stated.  Ohh yeah one thing he forgot to leave out.  LeBron James is in the video playing one on one with JayZ.  If this is not a tell tell sign that LeBron will be a New Jersey or Brooklyn Net after next season, then I do not know what is.

Now before all you Cleveland banshees get up on my case and say this is completely bogus, hear me out.  I think it is a great coincidence that Jay Z’s main lyric in the song is the one you sing at the end of a game when a team is losing.  In this case, Cleveland, well you will be loosing LeBron as he goes to a big market that has a city worth some entertainment.

After this next year I would not be surprised to see LeBron and Shaq gone.  I still cant believe how much money they paid that guy with the perm on your team.  He is garbage.  Why do you think Ariza did not sign with you guys?  Probably because he knows LeBron can’t commit to a city like Cleveland and he does not want to be stuck in that town with perm boy during his prime.

Sorry to be so harsh, but I was sick the whole season hearing how this is going to be Clevelands championship.  I knew it all along that one player could not win it all.  Cleveland, it is going to be a long time coming before you get a ring.  On that note, enjoy the sun while it is still up there.  I will be chilling in the city where girls can wear mini skirts and tank tops year round.

Enjoy LeBron while you have him because he will be gone.

23
Jul
09

A tennis players version of a fist fight

Don’t mess with us…..WHAT




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